


It's All Fun And Games Until Wade Gets A Boner

by encephalitis



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Finger Sucking, Hand & Finger Kink, M/M, Mild Smut, Oneshot, peter parker practically gives a popsicle a blowjob, wade is a needy bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/encephalitis/pseuds/encephalitis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade Wilson and Peter Parker developed an interesting sort of game with each other. They loved competing for things, and they sure as hell loved winning those things. This game in particular, however, had no end. There wasn't exactly a loser or a winner of any sorts, but the two were still determined to have the last stand.<br/>Rules were as simple as taking candy from a baby. All you had to do was successfully tease the other until their breaking point, and leave them hanging.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Fun And Games Until Wade Gets A Boner

After a few months of having known each other, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman and the famous merc with the mouth developed an interesting sort of game with each other. They loved competing for things, and they sure as hell loved _winning_ those things. This game in particular, however, had no end. There wasn't exactly a loser or a winner of any sorts, but the two were still determined to have the last stand.  
Back to the game; rules were as simple as taking candy from a baby. All you had to do was successfully tease the other until their breaking point, and leave them hanging.  
Now, Peter had the upper hand at the moment, because Wade was just too fucking easy to torture. Anything remotely close to sexual behavior would make the merc drop to his knees and absolutely yearn for more. That was definitely Peter's favorite part. Poor Wade.  
Every Friday at sunset, the two made an agreement to meet up on top of a tall building in New York. They never specified which, because that was another game to find each other; a basic representation of hide and seek.

 

***

  
  
Wade had been searching the city for his _best pal_ , looking over rooftops and skipping about as he sung to himself in a very familiar tune.  
" _Deadpool, Deadpool, does whatever he's paid to do. Shoots his gun, all the time. Drops his victims, just like flies. Watch out! Here comes that crimson buffoon!_ "  
" _Deadpool, Deadpool, unfriendly neighborhood Deadpool. For wealth and fame, he was never meant- action is his punishment_ \-- Oh! Fancy seeing you here, Petey!" The foul-mouthed idiot skipped over to his 'dear friend' who he'd now spotted at the ledge of a building, grinning happily from under his mask.  
  
"It took you long enough. I bought snacks." Peter replied and held up both hands to show a chocolate ice-cream in one, and a raspberry popsicle in the other. He'd planned out how this was going to go, step by step.  
  
" _Fuck_ yes! Daddy is as hungry as an old man with amnesia who's forgotten how many times a day he's eaten." Wade rubbed his gloved hands together before slumping down next to the red and blue suited hero, snatching the ice cream cone from the others hand. He used his free hand to raise his mask just above his nose, not completely comfortable with taking the whole thing off around people just yet  
  
Peter did the same, except he revealed all of his face, placing his mask down beside him before fluffing up his brown locks. "Lucky for you I'm thoughtful then." The hero had a few ideas for his popsicle in mind. It was already a little phallic looking to begin with, so I'm sure you can do the math.  
  
Wade had his legs dangling over the edge of the building they sat upon, swinging them about as he watched the sun slowly fall. _All in a days work_ , he thought. "Cheers for the creamy snack, Petey." He said cheerfully, licking up the side of chocolate blob on the cone.

"Mhmm." Peter hummed cheerily in response, letting his tongue trail up the side of his popsicle without care. He payed wade absolutely no mind, focusing on the sweet, cold treat under his tongue. He flicked it around to catch a few drips, making a slight wet sound in addition for his plan to work.

Wade turned his gaze from the setting sun over to the superhero, brows furrowed and mouth agape, ready to question why the hell he had to slurp his popsicle with so much intensity.  
"Well _you_ seem like you're _enjoying_ your treat." He snickered in question, wondering if Peter actually _knew_ what Wade's dirty mind was picturing.  
  
Peter maintained the straight face, letting his lips settle around the tip of the raspberry ice, the portion in his mouth melting into juice before he let his tongue wander, catching the little droplets. "Mmhmmm." He responded in echo like before. Peter knew exactly what Wade was thinking about and he almost laughed. Almost. That would have broken his whole  _I'm innocent and doing this completely by accident not by thought out choice_ facade he had going on.  
  
As much as Wade wanted to, the poor merc couldn't take his eyes away. But really, who could look away from an extremely attractive boy basically giving a _blowjob_ to a _popsicle_? He didn't even care to glance at his own ice cream as he went to lick it, attention staying glued to the oddly sexual way the other was eating a popsicle. A bit of the chocolate desert dripped off into Wade's lap, and he didn't even take notice of it.  
  
Peter glanced over at the red suited man, then at the melting ice cream. "You're dripping." He stated in a naive tone before leaning over to lick up the side of the cone, letting his tongue catch onto Wade's fingers while doing so.  
  
Wade's mouth was still gaped open in surprise, both because of how innocent Peter was acting, and how all of this was weirdly turning him on. The feeling of the others tongue flick against his skin caused Wade to shiver and swallow back, and he wished his mask was down to cover his now blushing, scarred up cheeks. " _Pshh_ , I knew that. Maybe I _like_ my ice cream melted."  
  
" _Really?_ " Peter asked, unamused by the flat out lie the other had just told. He took Wade's cone into his own hand all the while licking around his own snack so it wouldn't drip like a _certain someones_. Carefully, the brunette leaned over to now drag his tongue along the mercs melted ice cream covered fingers, eyes focused at their face, still keeping an innocent look. Going over his thin line of innocence, Peter then slid the others index finger past his lips, down to the knuckle.  
  
"Peter holy _shit_." Wade mumbled both with a small gasp and a chuckle. "Is this how you were taught to clean up sticky messes in school?!" His voice cracked when Peter started to suck on said finger. This was  _definitely_ no innocent act.  
  
"Wouldn't you love to know." Peter's voice was a little hard to understand, with a finger being in his mouth and all. His mouth curled into a cheeky smirk as he grazed his teeth back up the length before releasing it with an exaggerated pop. "Better finish your ice cream Wade, wouldn't want to make an even bigger mess." The hero purred, stretching back into his previous position before handing the cone back to Wade.  
  
Wade whined throughout the duration of whatever the fuck Peter was doing to him, and he could say he was honestly disappointed when the other stopped sucking. "Fucking Christ on a stick, Spidey. I'll make a mess in my poor _suit_ in a second of you keep that shit up oh my _god_." He whimpered again, making a fake cry in defeat as he shoveled the snack into his mouth.  
  
"What do you plan to do about it?" Peter asked in a challenging tone, lips and tongue gliding up the side of his popsicle.  
  
"Well right now I'm trying _not_ to pay any attention to my aching schlong. Thanks you, you little ass. Or should I say big ass, because _daaaamn_." Wade teased, shifting his weight to get more comfortable. If it were up to him, he'd be stripping out of his leather suit right then and there. Boners and restricting clothing were _not_ comfortable.  
  
The hero's next move was going to make Wade absolutely _pissed_. Not that Peter cared, because he'd win another round and the reaction would be priceless. "And on that note.. I'll see you next time, Wade." Quickly, he finished the rest of his icy treat, and slid his ask back over his face. Before the merc was able to reply, Peter had already launched himself into the open air, shooting a string of web to the closest building.  
  
"What in the ass Petey?! You are a cruel man Peter Parker!" Wade cupped his hands beside his mouth to give an echoed shout, throwing the remains of his ice cream out Peter's direction. "A cruel, _cruel_ , man!"  
  
And that was that. Poor Wade was left stranded atop of a building in New York, left to deal with his little  _situation_ on his own.  
He'd get that asshole back one day. He'd get him _real_ good.

**Author's Note:**

> hello sorry theres no actual smut in this im terrible at writing it but i hope this short drabble is quality enough for yall
> 
> also the song wade is singing near the start came from a comic made by http://scarletvulture.deviantart.com/ !!


End file.
